In shocking news today, Haaretzi reported that the Arab leaders of the world have united for the first time to recognize Israel’s legitimacy.
“It’s about time we sat down and said that Israel is here to stay,” said King Abdullah II bin al-Hussein of Jordan. “We should all be peacefully working with this country and its leadership to mutually improve the lives of all of our people, and all of our economies.”
“We want peace. We are putting down our guns, our rockets, our bombs, and beginning regular children’s programming on television like Seseme Street, instead of the hate-filled diatribe that our children are used to. We are ready for diplomacy,” said Mahmoud Abbas, Chairman of the Palestinian National Authority, standing side by side with the leadership of Hamas and Hezbollah.
“The Jewish people deserve to have their own small plot of land in the Middle East,” said Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran. “After their incredible suffering in the Holocaust, the international community legitimately decided that there was a need for a safe haven for these people, and it’s about time that we in Iran, and my brothers in Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, and other countries stepped up and granted them the right to live in safety and security. Oh, and that also means that we’re stopping our nuclear weapons development program today. It was targeted at Israel anyway.”
United States President Barack Obama and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu were reportedly speechless, in shock at the news, and offered no comment to this breaking news report.