What if both scholars are attempting to arrive at the same goal: preventing the 2nd party from speaking negatively about the third party.

If the Chofetz Chaim is concerned that any praise by person A about person C might inspire person B to follow-up with “well, you just think that because you don’t know what I know” leading to a sordid and maybe even juicy story . . . then one cure is certainly for person A to say nothing at all about person C to person B.

On the other hand, another cure could be for person A to go above and beyond in praising person C to such a complete extent that person B would either be persuaded that person C is marvelous, OR that person B would recognize how much person C matters to person A and refrain from saying anything negative.

Your text from Rabbi Yirmiyahu certainly gave no indication that he is in any way permitting slander.

If guilt were not a reaction to letting people down (which might mean letting them down by NOT gossiping when they would like us to) and instead a reaction to either acting/speaking outside our own values and/or letting God down . . . then perhaps although guilt is not the point it would be a more helpful guide.

Thank you for the discussion!

As to your question, are you suggesting that if people are having a hard time following a law we should simply give up on that value? Take speed limits, for example. Many, many people speed but most speeders agree that the limits can save lives. We speed because there are not enough cops to pull us over every time. I believe that people gossip not because we think that it is ethical to do so, but because we do not get into trouble most of the time. In fact, we are often rewarded!

I would agree with ML who said that we must have ideals to shoot for. Susie wrote that it is not about guilt. I would agree with her also. I do not believe that Jewish laws exist in order to make people feel guilty. They exist to teach us about what an ethical life could look like.

Lastly, I presented the Chofetz Chaim as as the extreme position. Like every question in Judaism, a multitude of approaches exist. If his definition does not speak to you, even if through its clarity it gives us “an ideal to shoot for,” there are others out there to consdier.