Comments on: Minnesota Mamaleh: About Circumcision

By: Jami

Jami — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 04:07:49 +0000

Keven –
I can appreciate your concern over this issue and the anger you feel towards your parents for your personal “genital mutilation” as you call it.
Though to be fair, Keven, I feel to share a story of a friend of mine, who felt anger towards his parents for the exact opposite reason that you feel anger towards your own. Because of my friend’s issues with a tear and other foreskin complications that occurred as he developed, he had to receive a circumcision at 21 years old. (Which put him out of work for several weeks, and for which he is still paying the debt.) Most tragically for him though, and specifically because his parents did not have him circumcised as a young child – as their doctor had recommended he should be – he no longer has ANY feeling whatsoever in his penis. You wonder whether or not there are nerves you can no longer feel – my friend knows he cannot feel anything. Though it all could have been prevented with a circumcision as a baby/child – before he could choose for himself.
Another instance I’ll share with you, Keven: while working in the E.R. my husband saw an intact man come in one evening who tore very badly when having intercourse. He was bleeding so much that he fainted soon after his arrival. I don’t know whether it was suggested he get a circumcision as a fix to the concern, but it was certainly a concern for that man that night.
While you, Keven, feel angry about being circumcised – there are plenty more who are happy to have been circumcised for the convenience, health benefits, cleanliness, look, family ties, and religious observance that having a circumcision provides for them.
Even though I share these pro-circumcision stories though, I realize (and did realize before I had my son cut) that the truth is, there are very legitimate pros and cons on both side of this issue. This issue is too complicated to say that only one way is best. The fact that you had a different experience – than say my happily circumcised husband or my previously uncut friend tells me that this decision is best made by a thoughtful parent (s), with their doctor, and if applicable – their religious leader. Because the truth is, that choosing to not have your son circumcised is as much an active decision as choosing to have your son circumcised is one. If a boy is left intact as a baby, it is extremely more expensive, painful, and risky for him to choose to undergo the procedure for himself as an adult.
Keven, I respect your choice to have left your sons intact. That is as much as health, social, cosmetic, cultural, religious, emotional issue to you as my decision to have my son cut was to me. For the reasons that there are a variety of experiences – both positive and negative – on both sides of this issue tell me that this is clearly a decision where choices should not be taken out of parents’ hands.

By: Kevin

Kevin — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 23:30:10 +0000

Wow. I’m surprised to see so many posts since my last one. Still, I find it interesting that neither of the people arguing against the law (PatriciaWF and Jamie)even acknowledged the existence of men like myself and Greg, who clearly regret it, even though two of us posted, and there are clearly many more like us, if you care to research. (Which Jamie clearly didn’t do a good job of, or she’d have known of us–maybe she doesn’t care?)

My wife and I had two sons, and both are intact. Neither have any health problems, and both were given decent upbringings, and will not go around having unprotected sex. She wanted to cut them at first, but after seeing the evidence, decided against it.

For Jamie, you clearly have little respect for your son, or his rights to alter his own body as he sees fit. Jamie is too wrapped up in her “right” as a parent against the government to consider her son’s rights or interests.

Patricia seems to oppose circumcision, but her analagies are invalid. Ear piercing should be done with the consent of the individual. Neither vaccinations nor diapers surgically alter the body. And vaccinations are proven to combat disease and save lives.

Kevin

By: Jami

Jami — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 20:15:41 +0000

Galit –

Thank you for your thoughtful article. I agree that whatever we choose to do with regards to our sons’ foreskins should be thoughtfully and carefully considered by both parents. I also believe it is dangerous territory we tread when we choose to legislate our rights as parents away . . . (Who says what cultural, religious, personal rituals we shouldn’t/can’t implement with our children? That is MY concern as the parent – not the government’s or anyone else’s for that matter.)

I wanted to share my experience on choosing to have my son circumcised. My husband was 100% pro circumcision for our son and I was definitely leaning towards it. We both come from (non-Jewish) families who circumcised their sons. Notwithstanding my personal preferences, I still took the time to research the pros and cons of the procedure before it was performed. For several reasons I don’t feel I need to defend or mention – we choose to have our son circumcised, and we haven’t regretted it for one day.

Might I add, that I decided that if I would choose this for my son that I should also be there to hold his hand through the process. He certainly didn’t like being strapped to the table, but during the actual procedure he was quite content to look at me and to drink a little sugar water. The circumcision was done perfectly and healed perfectly – no blood, crust, infection. Nothing. I believe that part of this was due to the fact that I took the time to research and choose an experienced pediatrician before he was born.

By: Tzipporah

Tzipporah — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 18:46:23 +0000

Galit, we DID think about this a lot, and it was a hard decision. Our son had a bris, and I’m glad he did, but it really made me understand why the obligation falls to the father.

As his mother, I wanted to just pick him up and run away with him! Well, as much as I could run 8 days post-partum.