Oh, of course you’re right. But the baby is only six months old, so I haven’t had the chance yet to deprive her of any experiences that might be more for her enjoyment than mine. We’ll have to check back in a few years.

What works for our family has been totally laid-back parenting from the get-go. My eldest is very independent, partly because I didn’t go out of my way to play with her constantly. (Something I read when she was tiny sticks with me now: Children do not learn to do things for themselves if you do everything for them. When it comes to small babies, even preventing their every frustration – such as handing them the toy they’re reaching for while having tummy time – will make it take that much longer for them to figure out how to reach a little farther by themselves.) We didn’t do fancy homemade baby food because it made more sense to throw her some sticks of cooked sweet potato and let her feed herself. Lots of what I do is what a mainstream parent would look at and call “lazy,” but, boy, does it produce great kids. When siblings have been introduced, there’s hardly been an adjustment period, since my kids aren’t used to going to classes, having lots of structured playtime, and that sort of thing. It helps, I’m sure, that our kids are relatively close together (2 years between the first two, 2.5 years between the second and third/fourth).

I truly believe that siblings are a gift to your children. When I had my second I felt like I was failing my first – I was taking away whatever attention/love/time she was getting and giving it to someone else. But the thing is… she had no idea that anything else existed. As far as she knew, once you hit 2 years old, you got a sibling. Introducing more children into the family has, so far, been much, much harder on the parents than the kids, although it’s worth it to see those kids interact with each other (eventually) and hopefully form loving relationships that will continue for a very long time.

And I always was amazed at the stuff you got away with as a teenager until we had two running around — it’s exhausting and you hit the nail on the head!

G