During the pandemic, when friendships moved from dinner tables to phone screens, Nina Badzin found herself using video messages to connect with friends. While her friends moved on from video chats, Badzin was inspired to turn her 2014 friendship column into a podcast.
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship marked its 5th anniversary of providing advice to thousands of people on navigating both the joys and challenges of relationships. Host Nina Badzin celebrated this milestone with a live podcast at Pique Travel in Excelsior, with more than 200 people in attendance.
Badzin invited Rebekah Jacobs, her assistant producer from Maryland, for a conversation on five lessons she believes can transform friendships. Audience members laughed, engaged, and reflected throughout the night.
The first lesson is embracing “abundance over scarcity.” Badzin used an anonymous letter from a listener who felt jealous about two of her friends becoming close.
“Your friends can have other friends,” said Badzin. Having an abundance mindset over a scarcity mindset in your friendships will change your life.”
The second lesson was regarding conflict. Badzin said, “Withstanding the discomfort of conflict is the only way you’re going to stay close.” “If you can’t have a conversation with your close friend, what are we doing?”
The third lesson challenged listeners to reflect on the way people measure and think about effort in friendships. Many listeners have expressed frustration, feeling that they put more effort into the friendship.
“Effort is not ‘I do this for you, so you do the exact same thing for me,” Badzin said. Instead, people should recognize the different ways friends can show they care. Badzin says this can be through conversations, enthusiastic responses, and emotional support.
Badzin’s fourth lesson centered around rejection, something most people have felt.
Badzin quotes Harlan Cohen saying, “The law of rejection says that not everyone will respond to me the way I always want.” Badzin claims that accepting rejection rather than fearing it will make friendships stronger.
Badzin even reflected on her experience moving to Minnesota as she struggled to make friends.
“You’re new, and you need friends. That’s your job,” she said. Badzin elaborated that one can’t expect others to reach out; rather, you need to take the initiative.
The last lesson from the live podcast is to stop waiting for an invitation.
“Never wait for an invitation. It is always your turn,” said Badzin. “Share more than you think you should, and share first.”
Badzin believes that friendship and its challenges are a universal experience.
“I think the listenership has grown because friendship is an ageless, timeless topic,” Badzin said. “It doesn’t matter if you’re eight years old trying to figure out who to sit with at lunch or you’re 90 years old trying to get a seat at the mahjong table.”
The live celebration reflected how many people are willing to laugh, listen, and think about what it means to be a good friend.
Your advice is always well taken and welcome by me. It has bolstered my thoughts and reinforced going for it with a new attitude. Congrats NB and your producer together for five years and going forward-