Top Five Things Not to Say to a Pregnant Lady (That People Have Said to Me)

Me (at 34 weeks), the hubby, and our 3-year-old. (Photo: Alexander Tolchinsky)

Me (at 34 weeks), the hubby, and our 3-year-old. (Photo: Alexander Tolchinsky)

I‘m super pregnant. Thirty-six weeks. With a boy. So it looks like I have an extra large basketball hangi1ng off my belly and when I stand up I groan like an old woman. #pregnantwomanproblems

I’m SO not complaining though, really.  I love being pregnant and we’re over the moon that baby boy is on his way, making preparations for his brit milah, closing out projects at work so I can take a summer maternity leave (lucky!), etc.

The one thing that IS really starting to bug me though, are the comments people make about my gigantic belly.  And yes, as you can see from the pic, it’s big. LOL for sure.  But there are tactful ways to note that I’m pregnant and bond with me over that.  Here are a list of the top five things you should never say to a pregnant woman that people HAVE said to me this month (seriously) plus a few things you could say.

Top Five Things Not to Say to a Pregnant Lady (that people have said to me):

1. Are you sure you’re not having triplets?

Rude. Also especially stings since we were pregnant with multiples this time (twins in our case), and lost one early on.  

2.  Better watch that beer belly.

And a guy said that.  Gross. Not funny. Awkward. 

3. Guess you ate too much of that ice cream.

While I was walking the Skyway eating ice cream. A woman said that one. Slightly less offensive than the beer comment because I WAS eating ice cream at that time.  Still not funny though. Especially because I’m totally having ice cream cravings, and probably 10 lbs of my 50+ lb weight gain is from my late night bowl of vanilla ice cream with banana, chocolate chips, and chocolate sauce. #dontjudgeme #babylikesicecream

4. You’re probably going to have that baby any day now!

Said to me by a male construction worker passing me by as I stood on a street corner.  First of all, no, I still had 6 weeks left at that point, and it would not be healthy for baby to come that early. Second of all, it’s soooo not cool to comment on people’s body types on street corners!  And weird as hell. 

5. Your baby must have just dropped.

Said to me by a male colleague. I think he was just trying to bond with me and show that he knew something about pregnancy, but everyone carries differently.  This baby carries low. The idea of a baby “dropping” tends to mean that delivery is near, i.e. within a few weeks. This colleague said this when I had almost two months to go. So no, baby didn’t drop. He’s just low. And stop oogling my belly please.  

Notice the common theme? Guys tend to comment WAY more than women do on the size of my belly, which is probably because women (at least those who have been pregnant or whose friends have been pregnant) know that for the most part, pregnant ladies DON’T LIKE WHEN YOU COMMENT ON THE SIZE OF THEIR BELLIES.  Truly. Pregnant ladies for the most part don’t like feeling too big or too small, and they don’t want you commenting in any way that relates to them being big or small.

So what can you say to a pregnant lady?

Top Five Things You Could Say to a Pregnant Lady:

1. Everything you would normally say to someone who is not pregnant.

Shocking, I know. 

2. How are you feeling?

Totally safe question for a male or female to ask if you’re talking to a pregnant woman friend or colleague.  

3. Is [insert older sibling] excited?

Great question for a friend or colleague, especially since it shows that you’ve paid attention to their family.

4. You’re glowing.

It’s probably sweat, but thanks.  Probably NSFW for a male colleague to say, unless you’re friends.

5. You look beautiful/amazing/other superlative.

Can’t hurt. Always makes me feel good. Also probably not appropriate for a male co-worker to say, again, unless you’re friends.

Mommas out there, what are the worst things you’ve heard when you were pregnant?  Let me know in the comments!

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About Leora Miriam Maccabee

Leora Miriam Maccabee is the President of Jewfolk Media, Inc. and founder of TCJewfolk.com. She is a litigation attorney at Maslon LLP in Minneapolis and lives in St. Louis Park with her two children.

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