I will be the first to admit that I am not a fan of Valentine’s Day. Probably even less so now that I find myself single this go-around. So for all of you happy couples, I’ll apologize in advance. Please go on and enjoy the day. For all of you singles out there – I’ve put together a list of ways to cope.
The First Step: Identify your type of single
- Optimistically Single: You really truly believe your bashert is out there and it’s only a matter of time until you find them.
- Desperately Single: You go to all the mixers and are a lifetime member of every dating site out there.
- Bitterly Single: You’re either freshly dumped or just jaded from playing the game too long
- Wanting to be Single: Stuck in a relationship that just isn’t quite right, you’re longing to leave.
- Functionally Single: You’re in a relationship but find yourself alone this weekend (long distance, work conflicts, etc).
The Second Step: Find a coping tactic best suited for your type of single
Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. (Suitable for: Every type of single)
It’s your first line of defense. And, after all, Rabbi Locketz even told us that Valentine’s Day is not a Jewish holiday. So you can safely tell all of your friends and nosy intruders “sorry, I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, I celebrate Tu B’Av.” Ignore, for a moment, that he said it was really ok to celebrate – that message was for couples, not for you, the single one. Go to the movies, go to the museum, go to your parents’ for dinner. Wait – don’t go to your parents’. You’re mother is Jewish…The conversation is bound to land on the fact that you’re single. But, you get the point. Just forget the stupid holiday exists.
Hide in a Hole. (Suitable for: DS, WS, FS)
Eat bon-bons from the comfort of your couch. In your snuggie. Watch sappy movies like Love Actually and (500) Days of Summer. You might be tempted to think that this is the same as the “Ignore” tactic – While they’re kissing cousins, you’re still admitting that the holiday exists. You’re just wallowing. Embrace the wallow. Channel your inner Eeyore. Go ahead, I’m giving you permission.
One word: Craigslist. (Suitable for:OS, DS, BS, WS)
Whether you’re bitching about your ex on the Rants and Raves, looking for the Guy/Gal you saw in the coffee shop in the Missed Connections, or just trying to find a hook-up in the Casual Encounters, you really can’t go wrong. If nothing else, it’s good entertainment.
Shred the Love! (Suitable for: BS)
Join other bitter singles at the Midtown Global Market for Shred the Love! on Saturday from 1-3pm. Something about paper shredders and giant scissors to rip apart all of those memories of love lost…
Red Light, Green Light Party (Suitable for: DS)
Head to Bootleggers on Saturday night. I’m classifying this one for the Desperately Single for one reason only: Bootleggers has a stripper pole. But hey – I’m in no place to judge!
Drinking, Texting, or Some Combo Thereof (Suitable for: BS, DS, FS, WS)
Don’t you wish there was a way to stop your phone from texting/dialing when you’ve had too much to drink? Enough said.
Find a hook-up (Suitable for: OS, DS, BS)
Geez, I really hope my rabbi (or my mother) isn’t reading this right now. Does seem like a good diversion though, doesn’t it?
Make a voodoo doll (Suitable for: BS)
Again, really hope my rabbi isn’t reading…For all of you Bitterly Singles out there, this may just be the trick.
Don’t fight it, embrace it (Suitable for: OS, DS, FS)
You might as well give in. The Target aisles have been lined with red candy hearts since Christmas. So, make the most of it and join in the fun. (Personally, I’d rather poke my eye out with a long-stemmed rose)
Enter the TC Jewfolk JDate contest (Suitable for: Every type of single – except for maybe those bitter ones)
What do you have to lose? JDate has been making nice Jewish couples for over a decade. And now, JDate & TC Jewfolk are giving you the chance to get a free, 3 month subscription. We’re even giving you a few extra days to get your entries in. So what are you waiting for?!
I’m certain I’m missing a few off this list. What are your favorite ways to cope when you’re single for the biggest love fest of the year?