Overheard at Starbucks

starbucks, new york city

March 20th, 2015. 

DALE (barista)
Matt? Light roast and cinnamon muffin?

MAX
It’s “Max” actually, but thank you.

DALE
You’re welcome. Race together.

MAX
What?

DALE
It’s written on the side of your cup. It’s in hashtag form.

[Silence.]

DALE
A hashtag is a type of label on Twitter that shows a trend-

MAX
Yes, I know what a hashtag is.

DALE
Race together!

MAX
What does that mean?

DALE
Well, here at Starbucks, we feel this is an important time to talk about race in America.

MAX
An important time? 6:45am on a Friday? Before I’ve had my first cup of coffee?

DALE
So what do you think?

MAX
I think this sounds like a stupid idea and I need to get to work.

DALE
Are you Jewish?

MAX
Yes.

DALE
So is our CEO, Howard Schultz! This was his idea. I guess you two already race together.

MAX
What?

DALE
Race together!

MAX
Stop saying that!

DALE
Do you understand what it means? It’s about different races, and how we’re all supposed to be together. You know, because this is America. But it also has that double meaning, uh, because we need to get through this quickly.

MAX
Oh that’s good, can I go now?

DALE
You can, but I think that would make you a racist.

MAX
Excuse me? I’m not a racist.

DALE
Are you sure? Because I’m just trying to have an open dialogue, and you want to leave. You’re trying to race apart. I’m trying to race together, Matt.

MAX
It’s Max.

DALE
Whatever, you’re all the same.

MAX
I’m not a racist.

DALE
Oh really? How do you take your coffee?

MAX
Black.

DALE
THERE YOU GO! Why not take it white? Or Latino?

MAX
How do you take coffee “Latino?”

DALE
Hello? Grande?

MAX
Is there a manager I can talk to?

DALE
What, you assume that I’m not the manager? Because I’m black?

MAX
I’m sorry, but you’re clearly white.

DALE
That’s the point! I’m white, but I could also be black. And our coffee is Latino. Because we’re racing together!

MAX
That doesn’t make any sense!

[DALE exhales a long, long sigh.]

DALE
That’s what they told Martin Luther King, Matt.

MAX
I can’t believe this is happening. I’m going to leave now. I’m never coming back to Starbucks again.

DALE
Did I say something to offend you?

MAX
Besides calling me a racist?

DALE
I just wanted to start a conversation! Because we need to-

MAX
I know, we need to race together. But you know what? THIS IS A STARBUCKS! Not a forum on race relations! So I’m going to take my latte and cinnamon muffin and get the hell out of here.

DALE
I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over your prejudice.

MAX
Goodbye!

DALE
Race Together!

 

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