So…how do you feel about me taking the late bus tonight?
My gem of a husband texts me at 4:45 PM. You know, right when the day feels like it’s never (ever!) going to end. Right when I’ve heard, “Mama?” 50,000 times. Right when I’ve gathered Brody out of the street 50,000 times. And right when I’ve scooped poop 50,000 times. Sigh.
This could have stressed me out, made me crabby and had me pithily, sarcastically, defensively responding to my guy. And it has before. But not tonight.
Don’t go feeling sorry for us. We haven’t completely lost the pith and sarcasm from our marriage. It’s just that lately I’ve learned (again) that I don’t actually have to buy every single worry that comes my way. Shocking, I know.
So while I’m a firm believer that a little bit of worry makes the world go round, there is a difference between change inducing worries and old worries, old stresses. The ones that we reach for simply because they’re familiar, easy to maneuver and we know what to expect from them. It’s not because they’re good for us. It’s just that they’re not scary. They’re not, you know, new. My husband’s buddy calls these, “old tapes.”
We play old tapes until we finally reach a point where we’re ready for change. Have you ever heard people say that the universe keeps handing us the same lesson, until it’s learned? Kind of like that.
A very wise Mama once wrote to me, “Judaism has this lovely concept of spirals. Every year we come back to the same holidays, but WE’RE in a different place.” I read those words many weeks ago and I thought that they were beautiful then. They rejuvenated my appreciation for our calendar, so chock full of celebrations that it sometimes leaves me breathless, tired and over-taxed.
So tonight, when Jason worked late and I flew solo a little longer than usual, I was indeed breathless, tired and overtaxed. But once Jason got home, instead of rushing around grumpily trying to get everyone to bed right on time and ending the night on a sour note, we carved out some later-than-usual time together and started sharing Simchat Torah with our children.
During Simchat Torah we celebrate the BIG accomplishment of reading the entire Torah throughout the past year, part by part, week by week. And now that we’re done, we rejoice, dance, eat sweets and immediately start all over again.
Why? The stories are the same. The words haven’t changed. We’ve read it through once, don’t we already KNOW?
Well, in my book the universe is giving us the benefit of the doubt. And is assuming that throughout the past year we’ve changed and spiraled and have the gumby-esque, sponge-like ability to glean, see, love or shed something (anything!) new. We embrace the possibility that there’s just plain more in those words. That the universe has at least one more thing to say to us before it pats us on the back and sends us on our way.
Sammy Spider's First Simchat Torah by Sylvia Rouss
A few weeks ago I received the curl-up-in-your-jammys cozy book, Sammy Spider’s First Simchat Torah by the fabulous Sylvia Rouss.
As Sammy Spider watches the family below his web learn about Simchat Torah, he gets more intrigued by the day. So much so that he just has to get as close as possible and experience it all for himself. Even if that means sticking himself to a celebratory candy apple! You know, like our two year olds would. And maybe, just maybe, they, Sammy and the toddlers that is, are onto something here.
Sylvia Rouss told me that she loved when Sammy found himself in an illustration within the book. I loved how determined Sammy was to be a part of the family’s Simchat Torah celebration. My girls loved that, too. And they also honed in on those delicious looking candy apples.
So we read the lovely story and had the sweet conversation. Much to my humble surprise, my girls expressed an interest in reading the Torah. And dancing with it. The dancing, however, was not a surprise. My wheels turned with possibilities. And then we dove into ooey-gooey-yumminess to make our own version of those apples, which included caramel. Of course.
And this kind of night will happen again. The late hours, sticky fingers and messy kitchen.
The new ideas, new possibilities and new learnings.
And I know that all of this newness is good in its rawest form. I know, but sometimes I forget.
So thanks for the reminder, universe. I’ll just be on my way now.
*Thank you to Kar Ben Publishing for this fab (free!) addition to our
Sammy Spider collection!*
The sweetness of the moment & letting yourself be in it, each time you come ’round the bend. That’ll get you further, somehow. Lovely!
Sometimes we need to read the stories again to get the message we missed the time before. Or if you are like me it is because you fell asleep while reading it and the kind people next to you, taped you snoring and uploaded it onto YouTube
Those sticky and gooey fingers, and the messiness in the kitchen are all a part of the cycle. Each year, new memories are framed within the precious moments that are shared and enjoyed.
A beautiful post, my dear. I love how you embrace everything with such love and hope and enthusiasm….Happy Simchat Torah to you and yours!
I loved this post … and it is a reminder that I think we all need to hear from time to time. I love the idea of life as a spiral.
wow. what a lovely post!
Galit! You make magic with your children everyday and inspire others to embrace all that is good and sweet about being a mom. It really doesn’t get any better than that! Lovely article!
I liked the part of your post that talks about old worries being familiar and easy to maneuver. I really related to that and couldn’t have put it into words any better myself.
The spiral analogy…awesome. I so love the way you write- your words are like a Snuggie.
Life as a spiral is so cool! And goodness, your kids are so cute — I just to hug them to bits! 🙂
Hi Galit,
I so enjoyed your article, not only because you gave my latest Sammy Spider book such a rave review but also because of your eloquent and humorous candor about your family experiences. You captured the feelings that so many of us have in our own day to day lives. I also appreciate the fact that you read the story to your children and then built on that experience by making caramel apples with them. You are creating beautiful memories for them that they will, hopefully, one day share with their children—Simchat Torah is a time of joy in the Torah and making candy apples! Thank you for being such an inspiration to me and all your other readers.
Fondly,
Sylvia Rouss
You are one patient wife! I can relate though, my husband sends me text messages when he knows I don’t want to hear something – I guess it’s safer that way.
Your kids are beautiful!
I really do believe we keep getting handed the same lesson over and over again until we learn. Each time though the lesson gets harder and harder.
I learned a new lesson from you, when life hands you lemons, make caramel apples! How wonderful! I wasn’t even in the mood for lemonade.
How do you come up with this stuff? I spend a lot of my time going “grrrrrr” at the universe. Chocolate helps, but maybe acceptance should be practiced a little more. You’re my new life coach, ya know that?
This is a great post! I’m coming to realize it is not what happens in this life, it is my reaction to it. And with parenting, action not reaction is called for each and every time. The caramel apples look so good! And your daughters faces at dipping theirs is just precious. A picture says a thousand words. 🙂
This was another lovely post. Even though I’m not Jewish, I love reading your work. Great messages and experiences that spark of memories of similar for me.
aww, i just read your comment on my blog and you are too kind. i can’t wait until my babes is old enough for us to do fun activities together like make making caramel apples. for now, the highlights of our days consists of naps and poopy diapers!
You are a brave mom to make caramel apples in your kitchen 🙂
What a great way to take a lesson into real life and tangible for the whole family.
You’re such a great mom, I love how you put a positive spin on things. You’re so right! Except about the kitchen being messy… your “messy” photos are better than my clean ones… just sayin’.
HI 🙂 thanks for stopping by my blog…I love yours. What a wonderful post and what a great way to look at a year, a night, a day in our lives. I enjoyed reading this very much 🙂
Have a great day!
Sometimes it is those spontaneous moments with the kids that are the best. Also I loved your description of deciding not to be angry and attemtpting to have that special time just a little later. I try to remind myself of this as I go through life…not to sweat the small stuff and that a smile and happy outlook will take us alot further. Great post and great quote about the concept of Judaism being a spiral…arriving at the same holiday each year at a different place in our life…that is so true. Gives me a new appreciation for the yearly cycles and tradions. Thanks!
There are some real gems here! Playing old tapes to the end, has seriously saved my rear from doing and saying things that I might regret. So, when I hear an old tape begin, if I’ve learned the lesson my universe wanted me to, I click it off, and move on.
And the idea of moving in spirals is terrific! I read a lot, listen to a lot of music and am constantly amazed at the new things that I learn and hear, even after the bazillionth time! What a wonderful clue…
The tune doesn’t change… we do! So simple!
These lessons will benefit me, when I”m not even aware…
Thanks for reminding me!
I like the whole analogy of the spiral. I never thought of it that way before, but it is so true.