Honey, Don’t Say That: Navigating Generational Diversity When It Comes to Israel with Rabbi Gardenswartz

Parents and children, grandparents and grandchildren, famously disagree about Israel. That was the case before October 7. It has been especially the case since October 7. Grandchildren of Holocaust survivors will say ”Israel is committing genocide.”

Parents and grandparents will say: “Honey, don’t say that. What Saba went through in Auschwitz was genocide. Israel fighting Hamas in the civilian areas where Hamas chooses to place itself and endanger the lives of civilians is not genocide. That is self-defense. That is self-preservation. That is a just war.”

Grandchildren will say: “Mom and Dad, you are just off here. You are so off. You have lost the next generation. By the way, you have lost the rest of the world.”

Our generations talk past one another. Deep conviction. Deep emotion. Deep passion. Talking about it does not make it better. In the history of these conversations, has there ever been a single instance where one generation convinced the other? Where did one generation change the other generation’s mind? Is there a better way to navigate this deep generational chasm?

Rabbi Gardenswartz is the Senior Rabbi of Temple Emanuel in Newton, Massachusetts, a 1,500-family Conservative congregation where he has been blessed to work for 28 years. He has been married to Shira Goodman for 40 years. Shira grew up in Minneapolis. She is the daughter of the late Rabbi Arnold and Rae Goodman, who were at Adath Jeshurun for 16 years. He goes to Israel 3 to 4 times a year. His congregation sends multiple missions to Israel every year. They are blessed to have four children with whom we do not see eye to eye in Israel.