diaTribe: Can!!Can, Quite Simply, In Any Way, Shape, or Form…Can't!

To be fair, Heavy Metal’s never been my thing.
Sure, I like my fair share of oldie school metal rockers, Guns ‘n’ Roses, AC/DC, Nine Inch Nails, Metallica, and Rob Zombie, but in all honesty, I’m more of a U2, Coldplay, Fiona Apple, Rufus Wainwright and David Bowie kinda feller.
The latter bands and artists don’t inspire me to shove splintery chopsticks in my ears. Always a plus, if you ask me.
But I felt the need to be charitable, because, as always JDub Records generously provided TCJewfolk a free copy of heavy metal band Can!!Can’s newest LP, Monsters & Healers (JDub Records: July 7, 2010, $7.99).
I’m usually pretty opened-minded, when it comes to music, but—and I’ll be completely candid here—this band, or at least this album—sucks!

Can!!Can in all of their shrill, inane glory!! Notice there's no view of the audience...if there is one.

Can I say that?!
Oh, wait. I just did!
That being said, I would be lying if I said that the album didn’t have any redeeming qualities.
Guitarist Mary Collins, with her weapon of choice, manages to get some good licks in, on songs like “God Lives in NYC” and “Devil in the Night Sky” Her work is terrific and electrifying. It’s just a shame that she has to compete with vocalists Josh Lamar and Patrick A, along with their inane, repetitive lyrics. I mean, how many times should one person have to hear the same lyrics (such as “New York City is alive”), over and over again.
Repeating the same lyrics over isn’t exactly new terrain. It works for some artists, such as the late, great Elliott Smith, when he sang “Everything Means Nothing To Me,” much to the chagrin of some listeners and to the delight of others, me included. But I digress.
The songs are loud, choppy, and have less harmony than an electric hedge trimmer. And that’s being kind.
But like I said, except for a few exceptions, the Heavy Metal’s never been my bag. Not really. With that in mind, I’ll wrap this review up, using the title of Can!!Can’s merciful closing song.
Brutal. Absolutely brutal!