Well, the same is true for putting away the laundry, washing the dishes and taking out the garbage.
I know because Monday I had an unfortunate kitchen disaster with the microwave, frozen peas and a breakable bowl. Let’s just say that the peas totally won. And I had to let a girlfriend’s eyes see my mess of a home.
Today as I sport snazzy purple bandages and rock IBUprofen by day and Percocet by night, I see that my priorities are waaaay out of whack.
Because when I burned my arm while making lunch for my kids, I wasn’t worried about the burn, my safety or my healing.
I was worried about three other, apparently more pressing, matters.
First, I didn’t want to ask another Mama to help with my kids because I didn’t want to disrupt nap-time.
Second, my house was a mess.
And third, I didn’t know where the closest ER was.
And that was it. Thoughts of infection, scarring and care didn’t enter my mind.
When did that happen? When did I stop concerning myself with my own safety and my own well being? And when did I stop trusting that people want to help?
Somewhat disconcerting is that the nurse-line-nurse assumed the sincerity of my worry and kept repeating comforting, encouraging phrases like, “People want to help when things like this happen.” So it’s not just me that has crazy self talk like, “I can’t bother them. They don’t have the will-the desire-the want to help?”
I knew better than that when I was a younger, more bleeding heart version of myself.
What happened to the eighteen year old me who handed out (my parents’) money just because someone asked? And the twenty year old me who volunteered? And the twenty two year old me that signed petitions and wrote letters? Because I whole-heartdely knew (K N E W) that that this world is good. And that the people that grace it are even more so…Good.
I couldn’t be more thankful, grateful and humbled by the FACT that that all of that up there is still TRUE.
I’m thankful for my friend Mary who dropped everything (including nap-time) to come watch my kids. I’m thankful that she employed the philosophy that it’s better to lie than to argue when I told her to just come over after nap-time ends.
I should mention that I’m also thankful that she has not once mentioned the laundry, dishes and garbage that she saw at my house.
I’m thankful for the friends that called, e-mailed, texted and commented on my facebook status words of encouragement, offers to help and jokes about status-updating before heading out to the ER.
I’m thankful for the ER nurses and doctors who couldn’t have been kinder, gentler and more patient even though it was an unusually busy day.
I’m thankful for school secretaries who carefully and meticulously made sure that Kayli knew that I wouldn’t be the one to pick her up without worrying her sweet heart.
And I’m thankful that although my kids were concerned about me, they took the whole situation in stride.
Yes, he has a past. Yes, he has a story. Yes, he has a second chance.
And yes, this world is good.
What a wonderful way to start 2011: With a swift kick in the Tuchus, a few good stories to tell and a reminder of how amazingly worthy people are and to always look on the bright side of life. Thanks Mary. Thanks Friends. And thanks Monty Python. I needed that.
My house isn’t emergency visitor-ready, either. You’re making me at least wanna sweep up the mysteriously spilled pine needles in the kitchen. Great post as usual. I know I’m feeling better because I went to sleep last night excited that on Friday morning, I’d get to read it.
I’m so sorry to hear about your injury, I wish you a speedy recovery (healing). You touched on a couple of issues that I think we can all relate to. It seems to be much easier to offer help than to ask for it, but I think that true friends are actually happy to be able to help us. We have to accept that some people will be our friends because our messy houses make them look better and this means that we are doing some kind of a mitzvah 🙂 Last of all, the sad truth is that as we get older it is very hard not to get a little jaded. Aren’t people your own age with the same sunny enthusiasm from our teens kind of annoying now? This doesn’t mean we should stop caring it just means that we realize that the world is a pretty big place to fix. I also have to add that in my opinion peas in general are a danger and will never be found in my home.
Thinking about what I’d do if called in to help somebody in a pinch, judging them for a mess in the sink would NOT be my first priority. Glad you got through this okay, with a little help from your friend…
Isn’t it funny how easily we forget some of the things we knew so instinctively when we were younger and more innocent?
I am glad you made it through. And thank you for the super wonderful comment you left on my blog.
First, I am sorry about your burn but so glad that you asked for help. Second, I simply love your writing. You make me laugh and this post made me tear up. The world IS good; thank you for reminding me.
I’m glad you had Mary to lie/drop everything for you. I know all too well how hard it is to ask for help – and conversely how eager everyone is to help once you’ve asked. Hope you’re healing well.
I’m so sorry about the pea attack. Thank goodness you called the nurse and your friend and got yourself to the ER to get the care you needed.
May you have a r’fua shlema, a full and complete healing of body and soul.
I’m glad you’re OK!
I know the feeling though of not always having the house ready for viewing. Sometimes I wish everyone would come over right when our house is spotless (and then keep coming over everyday so that we have motivation to keep it that way 🙂
I am so glad you are OK! That is scary – I would not have known what to do either!
Galit: so sorry that happened to you and hope your “Owie” is doing better! I definitely have two people in my life that I would call on for help and I wouldn’t think twice about what my house looked like or, even what I looked like for that matter. I feel fortunate for that especially because I’m not one that will easily ask for help either – even though I would help someone in a second and encourage others to ask me if they need it. I’ve never heard that song – good message. As difficult as it can be sometimes, choosing to look on the bright side of life will always keep you in a good place. Hugs!
First- So glad to hear you survived the pea incident.
Second- I unfortunately know exactly how you feel regarding what you consider a messy house. (There is a good chance that your messy is someone else’s clean. But I don’t allow visitors to my house, so I know how you feel.)
Third- Yes, the world is good and so are the people in it. Sometimes we get a bit off course, but I believe that our core is good. It’s nice to know that there are those out there who share such a radical idea.
LOVE Monty Python. Thank you for the reminder. I’m posting it on my facebook page to share the joy.
Firstly – your kids are SO cute!
Secondly – I hope you aren’t in too much pain – burns can bo so yucky, I know from very painful experience! And using a bag of frozen peas to soothe does not cut it when your housemate is insisting they take you to the (A&E/ ER) to get it seen to…. But hey, asking for help isnt in my sphere either!
As for Monty Python – I referred to them as well this week – how spooky is that?!!!! And Life of Brian, no less!
See here….. http://shavuatov.wordpress.com/2011/01/05/hes-not-the-messiah/
I learned that people *want* to help several times when my kids were younger and still now (just had a friend over to fold laundry for my one-armed self.) Eventually, I learned and we all won. Glad you’re alright but am wondering how you managed to do it?
Hi friends! I know that I usually opt for e-mailing you love letters, err- responses, but since your e-mails have mirrored Alison’s (Hi Alison!), here’s the scoop about the peas:
While making lunch I opted to “save time” by putting two (count ’em T W O) breakable bowls on our whirly-twiry microwave spinner and when I opened the door the universe aligned and EVERYTHING fell out. On me. The corn? Landed just fine and the kids still ate it. The peas? Not so much. Jason blames the peas for the whole incident. Obviously. XO
I am so glad that you are okay. As far as having a messy house, most of us do. And if you don’t have a messy house you probably have some OCD, so be glad it is messy. Besides, when I think of a perfect home I think that the mom must be like Joan Crawford from the movie Mommie Dearest.
In one of my favorite Saturday Live skits – the mom is severely injured and just kept saying “oh, I am just fine..don’t worry about me” ..as her arms fell off, etc.
Why is it so hard for us to ask for help AND for us to let our friends see our less than perfect homes.
So sorry you are hurt. OUCH – but I thank you for being brave and letting us know it’s okay to be vulnerable as moms.
Oh, darling girlie…I hope you are feeling better soon. I know, I know, you worry, not for yourself, but those three adorable babes. Such a mother! 🙂
I watched Ted Williams on the Today Show yesterday morning. Such a voice, such a story, so heartfelt and filled with the humanness residing in all of us. As he so aptly stated…we should not look at the homeless as all of them wanting money to go buy alcohol or drugs, and that there are those who are just in unfortunate circumstances.
I hope this attention doesn’t get to his very core, and set him back, somehow.
Hugs to you, dear girlie.
This sounds like it was a really serious burn, my dear….I hope and pray you heal quickly and completely and that no infection gets a hold of you! As Anne Frank said, “…..I still believe that people are really good at heart…”
It sounds like you experienced that with this frightening Pea incident!
So glad that you are okay.
And, thanks for reminding me of priorities. Sadly, there are too many times where I look at my home and judge myself — versus realizing that my friends value me and our relationship not the state of the non-Better Homes and Garden living room.
i think we are the most loveable when we are in weakness or in need. my friends do love me when it is all clean and together but have said that i am most real when there is organized clutter or kitchen sink dishes crowding out the soap container.
frozen peas are a nightmare to cook properly so i know that they can explode under pressure. i have cleaned many microwaves by heating up a lemon and wiping it down.
take some time to rest and relax while injured. you might not get the chance for awhile to be pampered
Hope you are better now. I eard the other day someone on the radio explaining that we have not been taught to ask for help and that this is not always a good thing.
It’s hard asking for help sometimes… but it sounds like you have a wonderful friend. And I have no doubt that you would have dropped everything to help a friend in a similar situation… am I right?
And fortunately, I’ve found that my closest friends don’t care whether I have dirty dishes in the sink or smelly garbage… because, secretly, they probably have a stash of it at home. At least that’s what I try to tell myself. 🙂
Hope your wounds heal quickly, momma!
Oh goodness! I am glad you are ok! I have a big issue of asking for help, too. You know, I just rant on my blog instead 😉
It is funny, I was just reading something that asked can your home be “visitor ready” in under 2 hours and I had to answer honestly… not even close! So we have been cleaning up a storm today, lol.
Galit, I am trying to remember that underneath it all, people as still good… but lately it has been hard. I think I need to do more to actually LOOK for that good in all people. I am glad I have you to remind me that it is still there. Just maybe under a few layers of dust.
Feel better, my friend.
You know that Ted Williams was offered a job by the Cavaliers but chose to take one in Miami instead.
On a serious note, sorry to hear about your accident but glad to see that you are ok.
I’m so glad to hear that you’re okay!
Many years ago, “but the house is a mess!” was exactly what I said to my husband – when the doctor said I should get to the hospital ASAP (because I had suddenly gone into labor), and our neighbor was on the way over to watch the older kids… 🙂
Hachlamah mehirah – May you have a complete and speedy recovery!
This is a wonderful post…I loved it! I do the same thing, thoug. I NEVER take care of myself (Dr-wise, I mean). I’ve suffered through a broken toe, thumb that probably needed stitches, etc (I am SUPER accident prone) because I didn’t want to bother anyone to help me. And now w/hubby on the verge of another deployment…I struggle w/the idea that I may, indeed, need to seek help. It’s my own issue. many have told me they really want to help. What is that????
I’m sorry to hear about your injury! But on the bright side, it’s given you material for a great article 🙂 I still fundamentally believe that this world is a good place and that most people are, at heart, good people. I sometimes get very upset when my more-cynical friends refuse to believe me… so I’m glad that your friends have restored your faith in humanity a little.
PS I added you on Facebook so I can be sympathetic in real-time in future! 🙂
First time visiting, from FTLOB. Sorry you had such an accident but totally agree with you on what mommyhood has done to our priorities…. NOTHING messes with naptime.
When my kids were young my house was rarely guest ready before nap time. I used nap time to pick up and do some cleaning from the crazy morning.
Hope that your burn heals well.
just stopped in from For the Love of Blogs 🙂
joy & blessings,
Galit! I’m always impressed with you how you integrate video, pictures, and other elements into your posts. You inspire me!!
I am so sorry to hear about your kitchen accident! But I am thrilled to hear that you are okay and that you have wonderful friends and family surrounding you…people who pull together when you need it…and people who ignore insignificant things like laundry and clutter.
You are one lucky lady Galit! And a very compassionate and kind one too.
OMG! I don’t even have children yet. Just me, the husband and our two cats, and our house is NEVER visitor ready! We can usually make it visitor ready within 15-30 minutes, but it’s never that way on it’s own accord! 🙂
Loved the blog, and I hope your arm is healing nicely!
Oh my gosh, I’m so glad you are okay. But you bring up a great point and write it so well. I, like you, am always afraid to ask for help. Afraid to impose or something.
Thank goodness for good friends huh?
Hope you are on the mend!
Refuah Sheleimah, dear.
Yeah, I totally get where you’re coming from, too.
Funny, I was just thinking about letting someone come here and pick up my daughter for a sleep over. I would rather meet her somewhere so I don’t have to invite her in.
Just not in the mood to clean- ever.
I hope you are feeling better.
one thing that has changed my view about these kind of things is this : In order to truly be able to give , you need to learn how to receive. Receive help, receive blessings….
And this is the latest on Ted Williams http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/view/211916