Not diverse. But darn cute.
At the end of the week I’d gather up my materials and put them away until the following year. And that, my friends was tokenism.
Tokenism is defined as the practice of making only a token effort or doing no more than the minimum, especially in order to comply with a law.
Ouch. That hurt a little bit, didn’t it?
Now don’t get me wrong here. I think that a little bit of effort is good. Very good, in fact. But it’s a baby step. A start.
What really matters is what you say and do on regular days.
For example, in December I went into Kayli’s classroom to be the Hanukkah mom. For many of the kids it was their first, and perhaps only, exposure to anything Jewish. A lot of hate happens from lack of knowledge. And learning about each other is a gem of a step forward that I was honored to be a part of.
But the rest of the month the classroom operated under the assumption that everyone celebrated Christmas. Christmas coloring sheets, playing Santa’s helper, creating a beautiful calendar as a Christmas present.
Remember? What really matters is what happens on the day-to-day.
So regardless of guest speakers or special projects, if the everyday language and curriculum centers around and screams the message: This is what we ALL do, then we’ve tokenized. Accidentally and unintentionally. But tokenized, nonetheless.
Many of us parents and teachers are ice skating on the fine line of wanting to expose our children to the whole wide world, but aren’t quite sure how to go there in any other way than one-off style. We’ve fallen into the tokenizing trap and we can’t get out.
So right here, right now, I’m going to give you a little nudge, a little boost, a little START in the process of moving away from tokenizing and towards authentic diversity. Here are:
Three Ways to Vamp Up Diversity Education
3. Timing: Black History Month. Women’s History Month. Gay Pride Day (Ahem). They’re nice. And good. Really good. But they can’t be the only months or days or lessons that curriculum represents people from diverse backgrounds. Give equal time to each theme, holiday, group that you’re representing. One lesson won’t cut it. You’re planning on teaching about MLK this week? Fab. Maybe your lesson can serve as a jumping off point for an on-going study. Next month you can hit some of these Famous Black Americans and after that maybe one of these.
2. Wording: “Boys and girls I bet you’re all so excited for Santa to come!” is just plain out of date. Don’t say it. The same holds true for, “When you play in your backyard” “When Daddy comes home from work” “The last time you went on vacation” “When Mommy and Daddy” “When you eat, try, do, say.” All of it. Don’t be afraid to ask kids (And their parents) to tell their stories. And don’t be afraid to listen to those stories. Most will be happy to tell you, we can all learn from each other and you’ve lost absolutely nothing by asking.
1. Books: It’s really ALL about the books. You can’t read twenty-five Christmas books and one Hanukkah book. No, you really can’t. Same holds true for reading the entire Magic Tree House and Junie B. Jones series and one short, poorly written MLK book. Seriously. N-O. Sort the books in your theme baskets. If every character represents a white-middle class-together mom and dad-family then your book collection needs to be revamped. Your local librarian can help you find a wide variety of books and many sites are dedicated to listing and reviewing multicultural literature. Yep, right here at your fingertips. Diverse characters, authors and illustrators count. Commit to adding one diverse book to your collection at a time.
All of these things (How’s that for eloquent?) can be applied at home, too. Look at your books, your activities, your foods, your words and your friends. Make those changes. Widen that net. Show your kids how it’s done. And learn right alongside them.
Still not diverse
Still not pretending to be.
And still darn cute.
Wow Galit. Thanks for an awesome piece.
Awesome piece. And this is from a girl who has been on the other end of The Cringe as someone has made a beeline to me to speak to the only black person in the room. Whew! Checked off my “talk to a racial minority” box for the month. So glad she was here. 🙂
GREAT post Galit! As the mama of (soon to be) 2 Chinese children and 2 Ethiopian children, we deal with this issue daily! I mean, sure, we celebrate the cultural holidays and all, but that is not nearly enough! Branch out! Go to an ethnic market once in a while, attend a cultural celebration (we LOVE the Asian Festival here), prepare food from around the word. So many things we CAN do, if only we WILL.
Bravo, mama!
Another great post Galit, we need to move beyond good intentions to good practice.
And this holds equally true for what goes on in shul as well.
Great piece!
Great post. Growing up in Kentucky, I know what it is like to not be exposed to other cultures or other lifestyles. I am so glad that I am in diverse Florida where my kids have friends of all races, religions and upbringings.
Galit: well said.
One great way to teach about family is to play the game of Life. Instead of picking out the color of spouse for your child ask your children who they want to choose as their spouse. I love this game because it allows you to really open the door for so many discussion throughout the years. My daughters choose pick all the time. For them it was about seeing and experiencing a full life. My son used to wear high heels and still plays with dolls. He is an amazing nurturer.
What a thought-provoking post, and also a thoughtful one.
As parents, we need to instill the diverseness of each other, not only within our city/environment, but also world wide. We are all part of the human whole, under the planet.
xo
My children attend a Jewish day school. When we first enrolled them a few of my friends suggested that it was a bad idea. They didn’t comment on the cost but spoke about how the kids would be segregated from people outside of their community.
There is a modicum of truth in that. My kids don’t understand why Christmas gets so much play. Because all of the other children are Jewish they just assume that we are a majority.
But their extracurricular activities expose them to people of colors, beliefs and backgrounds. Their sports teams are especially good for this because the children actively play/work with each other.
During the last presidential election they asked me several times why people kept mentioning Obama’s color. I loved that because it was clear that they didn’t see race having a role in the election.
I think what would be helpful if people understood why diversity is a good thing for all people and not just those that feel left out by the dominant culture.
Tokenism is a “you’re special for a day”. Diversity is “Let’s value everyone’s experience”.
How true! Thank you so much for pointing out what we often do, no matter our intent. It’s good to get a push and a reminder, especially as we get closer to MLK day.
And the one book about Hanukkah…guilty. Thanks for the kick in the butt.
Twice my comment disappeared because they said I didn’t put in the correct “captchya” thingy. I will have to recreate what I said, again, and email you
Forgive me, but I really hate this system, I must say.
Thanks for a reminder of how incredibly lucky I was to go to a public high school where I (as a Caucasian) was in the third largest racial group (behind black and asian), where there was no noticable inter-racial conflict (unlike at my sister’s high school), and where, at my Senior Prom, we had an inter-racial lesbian couple and nobody made a fuss – not the students, not the faculty, not the parents.
You’re right, this kind of culture only develops if you’re honoring diversity on a daily basis. Yasher koach!
@Lady of the Hills (and anybody else who’s experienced this!). Please accept our apologies for your frustration. We had to move to the captchya method for spam filtering while our blog backend was getting updated. It will be removed this weekend and we hopefully will be done with it for good.
Interesting post! Where I am (Mass.), the public school systems are pretty evolved — the talk in the classrooms is of different holiday traditions rather than just Christmas, and the holiday concert includes Christian, Jewish, and Native American music, and/or secular songs like “Winter Wonderland.” It can be hard on the teachers when the kids want to talk Santa, but they do a good job.
hey galit… and the people above.
i totally know what you mean about tokenism. i am an unassuming white guy, college educated in his mid 30’s. i have been guilty of all the insensitivities to non-whites and non-christians in the book. i am so blessed to be in a group of friends and internet friends who are nothing and everything like me. life gets messy alot. walking out all the drama and learning from others is about the only thing i think my biracial children will absorb from the way i live my life.
thanks for reminding my short term memory that diversity is the one true gift the world will give back to us
You know, I’ve always felt it more offensive to single out a group of people once a year than to ignore the distinctions all around. When we celebrate someone because they are gay, black, white, Christian or whatnot, we are defining who they are based on characteristics that do not make a difference in our Heavenly Father’s eyes.
A goal of mine since I was a teenager was to be able to view myself and others the way our Father in Heaven views us. Its always a work in progress, of course, I’m only human. We are all so much more than we allow ourselves to be when we insist on compartmentalizing ourselves.
Beautiful. I have recently befriended some college kids from Saudi Arabi thru work. I love when they come in because I learn so much and I teach them things about American culture too.
One sweetheart went home for his winter college break and brought me back a traditonal Arabic dress. He handed it to me and said Merry christmas. He doesn’t celebrate Christmas but he thought of me and I was touched. If he was willing to do this for me I should be open to learn about his culture too.
What I am really shocked to hear from thses students is the racism that they face every day. It is sad.
I love one of the first grade evolving beyond simply MLK projects: Great Changers. Began when a kid brought in the newspaper clipping about Rosa Parks’ death.
There are so many ways to push your thinking. At home, in school. Lovely as ever, Galit.
So true. I’ve learnt a lot about this working with our Brownies – for instance, it’s traditional to make cards and gifts for mother’s day and father’s day, but not all the girls have both parents in their lives.
Very good point. I get depressed about how isolated we tend to be in our community here. It’s all white people who purport to have the same religion. I am trying to figure out how we can expose our kids to the same kind of diversity we, as adults, experience in a workplace environment. It can be challenging! I think one thing that has helped is some of the relationships I’ve formed online for sure!
Galit,
This sentence you wrote sums it up:
“A lot of hate happens from lack of knowledge.”
Great post. So true — diversity, multiculturism is best learned wrapped into everyday life. Well said! 🙂
Veronica Samuels
http://www.worldmomsblog.com
I am totally guilty of tokenism, even when it comes to our own religious holidays. I’m not sure if it’s just laziness or being too busy or not really having any direction but I really do need to make more of an ongoing effort to teach my daughter about the different holidays.
Thanks, as always, for a wonderfully eye-opening post Galit! Your kids are adorable.
Thank you for the excellent book link. And thank you for addressing this subject. So honest and direct. Dolls that represent different cultures are important, too. Do I have any? I think two little people. That’s just not enough. I’m falling behind here, I need to step it up in our house!
This really made me think! I’m thinking WOW! OK I’m a little short on the vocabulary today but not for long and I so don’t want to turn this into a mini post (I’m sorry)
I find it really interesting to hear what happens across the pond (so to speak). My son has very few of the ‘days’ that you describe, so I feel the schools fail the children on a lost opportunity because of this. However as part of their curriculum when they teach subjects surrounding religion, diversity etc it’s never just a one off subject, it’s a whole project that leads into another so to give you an example their latest project was about Key Figures in History, each child had to pick a person and present, no child could pick the same person and these were then linked into specific topics across the space of 3 months, they had Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Albert Schweitzer, etc. and within that they learnt about their religions, their philosophies, the trials and tribulations associated with their lives.
They then intrinsically link the trials and tribulations to other subjects such as PHSE (physical health and x.Education) where they learn about the effects of them. e.g. bullying but not just playground bullying, everything surrounding race, gender, sexual preference, etc.. I love that my son’s school reaches out to educate but I am also concerned that without the ‘real’ element such as these days and conversations with actual people who can provide a ‘real life’ take on it, it becomes just another ‘fictional’ tale and not something they really should embrace. So my question to me is What can I do to make this more real to my son? Again sorry for the essay and I do hope that this makes sense.
This article is wonderful for so many reasons. I think that you hit the nail on the head…
tokenism versus diversity. Such a vast difference.
Great post.
With regards to the “have diverse friends” advice, I prefer the advice to “step out of your comfort zone”. I did this unknowingly a few times and knowingly other times and have always found it to be extremely valuable.
My experiences have ranged from fairly trivial (e.g. being the only white person in a shopping mall in North Carolina) to more intense (participating in several overseas exchange programs, attending a college where White Anglo Saxon Protestants like me were rare, working at a Jewish summer camp). When you immerse yourself, there is more opportunity for learning and for true understanding.
Beautiful post Galit and such an important message! And I love all of your ideas to “vamp up” diversity in education. For children to be learning about other cultures, other groups, other lives in general outside of their own will only lead to a more compassionate and open minded human being. Isolation can only promote fear. And most hatred is a result of fear based thinking.
Btw: that pancake sure looks good! Hugs!
Oh I love this post! These are great tips that we can all use and this really is an eye opener.
Thank You.
In response to Annie — “When you immerse yourself, there is more opportunity for learning and for true understanding.” I think this is my new motto! Life gets boring for me when everyone around thinks or acts so similarly. It is mind opening to bravely mingle!
And, thanks again to Galit for starting this great discussion!
Veronica Samuels 🙂
Interesting and thought-provoking. Here people make far fewer efforts as far as tokenism is concerned. France is less politically correct than the US and religion is a big “no” in state schools.
Having said that I am grateful to be in a diverse working environment (even if I wouldn’t mind a few more Jews!) but reckon that this happened by chance not thanks to any effort I made in that direction.
I also believe that diversity should be taught via a curriculum rather than through special days.
I like your list of tips.
Great tips, Galit.
great piece. i love this line: What really matters is what you say and do on regular days.
my dad – hslabw – is fond of saying that mother’s and father’s day is every day…
it reminds me of how when yaakov wrestles with a mysterious man (another part of himself?) his preparation is not described because the preparation (as opposed to how he prepared to fight eisav) was how he lived every day…
i’m also reminded of the concept that mitoch shelo lishmah bah lishmah – from doing things not for the highest reason – you can get to doing it for the high reason.
Well, I don’t know what to do. We attended a Jewish preschool, a Christian preschool, and then a regular elementary school with kids bussed in from other (poorer) districts.
We now attend a charter middle school and my kids have friends with parents who are variously together, divorced and lesbian/gay. There is almost no religious diversity and absolutely no cultural differences – we’re all solidly white and middle class. It gets difficult to incorporate the teaching. We are always referring to books or literally going on day trips to incorporate that diversity into our lives.