And then there were two. From thirty-two a week ago we have our final two. One was expected, one maybe should’ve been expected. But there can only be one winner. Before we get to the voting, let’s take a look at the finalists.
The case for God:
He (or she) is all-knowing, omnipotent. He (or she) has also been a force in this tournament. God won the only shutout of the tournament, handing Rameses an 18 (of course) to nothing defeat. The momentum continued in Round two as God knocked off the prohibitive favorite, Moses, with a stunningly easy 14 to 2 win. Miriam didn’t provide any more of a challenge, and God sailed into the semifinals. Frogs, which had obliterated the Plagues region was poised to offer some resistance, but he who smelt it dealt it, or something like that, and the one that cast the frogs sent them right back to whence they came with a convincing 7 to 3 victory. God now has one last challenge against Matzah ball soup, but as a voter you have to ask yourself: Can you live with the guilt of going against God?
The case against God:
Is God a he or a she? Or an it? The pronoun confusing really gets annoying. Also, isn’t God sort of a cop-out? I mean, saying God is the most important part of Passover is like saying water is the most important part of a lake. We get it, God is there. Yes, maybe God should have been higher than a 4-seed, but does he (or she) really deserve to win the whole tournament? Congratulations God, you won, here’s a medal. Oh, you can just create your own medal, and the metals (and fabrics) needed to create it? Oh, well, thanks for playing, I guess.
The case for Matzah Ball Soup:
Matzah ball soup is the most Jewish of foods. It takes matzah, the bread of affliction, something that nobody in their right mind would eat other than on Passover, and turns it into the most amazing of dishes. It, too, had a pretty easy run to the finals. It took care of popovers in the first round, with an unsurprisingly stellar performance, winning 17 to 2. It took care of Charoset pretty easily as well, but ran into a tough match-up against brisket. MBS barely hung on for an 11 to 7 win. In the semifinals it ran against a comparatively weaker Chocolate covered matzah and dispensed with them by a solid, if not spectacular 9 to 4 win. Will that resilience breed toughness, or has MBS spent all its salt? Once Moses was eliminated we thought Matzah Ball Soup became the clear favorite of this tournament, but only the voters can decide the winner.
The case against Matzah Ball Soup:
Only your grandmother knows how to get it right. So if your grandmother’s matzah ball soup didn’t show up to play, then matzah ball soup ain’t winning. Even though it’s made with matzah, it’s not strictly a Passover food. Yes, neither is God strictly a player only in the Passover story, but God is much more involved in the Passover story than matzah ball soup is. Let’s see a matzah ball on the seder plate and then we’ll talk.
This is it! There are no more chances to vote after this, so vote NOW on Facebook. Do you go with the Almighty One, or the alltasty one? We’ll finally see what Jews believe in more: God, or their stomachs. Passover ends at sundown tonight; we’ll leave the voting open until this time tomorrow morning and announce a winner on Facebook tomorrow. So keep those votes coming!
(4) God vs. (8) Frogs
(1) Matzah Ball Soup vs. (7) Chocolate Covered Matzah