“The loving man rewards himself.” – Proverbs, 11:17
otherwise known as:
You’ve done it. You’ve voted. You’ve stuck the sticker on your forehead, snapped a pic, posted it to fb and the gram. Now all you can do is wait and give yourself a little TLC. Here are some self-care tips that are actually kind of Jewish. For best results do all at once.
Drink – Here’s a recipe for a Mazel Tov Cocktail, a Jewish drink that isn’t Manischewitz. The best part about this party drink is it serves 1! You can also just pour yourself straight whiskey or drink wine straight from the bottle, but this recipe doubles as a way to not think about the polls.
Mazel Tov Cocktail
¼ ounce lavender syrup (recipe below)
1 ounce Averell Damson plum gin liqueur, or quality sloe gin
Splash of fresh lemon juice
4 ounces Champagne or sparkling wine
2 ounces dried lavender buds
2 cups water
1½ cup sugar
Make the lavender syrup: Pour two cups of water in a saucepan and soak lavender buds for 5 minutes. Add sugar, and then bring to a simmer for 7 minutes over medium heat, stirring occasionally. Cool and strain. Syrup will last for 3 to 4 weeks in the refrigerator.
When you’re ready to serve, pour lavender syrup, gin, and lemon in a mixing glass over ice, stir briefly, and strain into Champagne flute. Top with chilled Champagne and serve.
Eat – Comfort food only. We’re talking soup, cheese, bread, cheese & bread, soup & bread, bread dipped in cheese, bread dipped in soup, cheese dipped in soup, etc. I could go on, but honestly just feel free to get creative. Here is Andrew Zimmern’s recipe for Matzo Ball Soup that I am re-naming…
“Matzo Ball Soup For The Voter’s Soul.”
. 2 quarts chicken stock or low-sodium broth
. One 3-pound chicken
. 1 1/4 cups matzoh meal
. 2 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
. 1/2 teaspoon granulated garlic
. 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
. 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
. 5 large eggs, 3 separated
. 1/4 cup melted chicken fat (schmaltz) or vegetable oil
. 1/4 cup minced onion
. 1 tablespoon vegetable oil, for forming the matzoh balls
. 1 large carrot, thinly sliced
. 2 celery ribs, thinly sliced
. 1 small onion, cut into 1/2-inch dice
. 1/4 pound rutabaga, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch dice
. 4 large dill sprigs
. 4 large parsley sprigs
. Kosher salt
. Freshly ground pepper
1. Make the chicken soup in a large pot, bring the chicken stock to a simmer. Add the chicken and return the stock just to a simmer. Cover the chicken with a small plate to keep it submerged and cover the pot. Reduce the heat to maintain a very low simmer; simmer until the chicken is cooked through, about 1 1/2 hours. Remove the chicken and let cool slightly, then shred the meat; discard the skin and bones. Strain the soup into a heatproof bowl. Skim off the fat and return the soup to the pot.
2. Meanwhile, make the matzoh balls in a large bowl, combine the matzoh meal, salt, garlic, baking powder and baking soda. In a medium bowl, whisk the 2 whole eggs with the 3 yolks, schmaltz and onion. In a separate bowl, beat the 3 egg whites with an electric hand mixer until stiff peaks form. Stir the schmaltz mixture into the dry ingredients, then stir in one-third of the beaten egg whites until incorporated. Gently fold in the remaining whites until no streaks remain. Press a sheet of plastic wrap directly onto the surface of the batter and refrigerate for about 20 minutes or overnight, until firm.
3. Line a baking sheet with plastic wrap. In a small bowl, combine the vegetable oil with 1 tablespoon of water. Scoop 1-tablespoon-size mounds of the matzoh batter onto the baking sheet. Using the oil-and-water mixture to keep your hands moist, roll each scoop of batter into a ball, handling them as gently as possible.
4. Return the chicken soup to a simmer. Add the carrot, celery, onion, rutabaga, dill and parsley and season with a big pinch each of salt and pepper. Add the matzoh balls. Cover and cook over moderate heat, turning the matzoh balls a few times, until they are plump and cooked through, about 25 minutes. Stir the shredded chicken into the soup and cook just until the meat is warmed through, about 2 minutes. Remove the herb sprigs. Season the soup with salt and pepper and serve immediately.
Mask – At this point you should be drunk & full of some bread, cheese, soup combo. Time to take care of your face, yeah, the one that has been tense since November 2016. Soak it in this Honey Nourishing Mask and maybe then this Milk Moisturizing Mask. Milk + Honey = Promised Land so this is for sure a Jewish tip. Give your skin some respite from what probably felt like 40 years of tightness. You can buy these at that bright pink store in Ridgedale Mall
Book – What are the odds of your drunk-food-coma-mask-faced butt being able to now read a book? SLIM. But open up Iris Apfel’s book anyway and give it a try. The Jewish style icon is hilarious, insightful and full of color! Jump from page to page in whatever order you want and try to absorb an atom sized amount of her assuredness.
TV – THREE WORDS. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Oh that’s four? You shouldn’t be able to count. You should be drunk.
Music – Which Drake song is best for a moment like this? God’s Plan? In My Feelings? Nice For What? Get It Together? Honestly you can’t go wrong. Not into rap? Dance around to HAIM or Adam Levine or Barbara Streisand! Best part about dancing is you can do it with a drink in your hand.
Take care of yourself, TC Jewfolk. If things get bad, just watch this video (not Jewish but at this point it’s more about self-care than self-identity) on repeat: