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Dear Miriam,
Political conversations have had a remarkable tone shift in the past couple of weeks, and it feels like politics are everywhere, which is nothing new, and yet it feels new. It’s still three months until the election and seems impossible to avoid the topic coming up, even in places where political conversations have typically been off limits. What’s the best way to navigate this?
Signed,
Political Presence
Dear Political,
Things ARE different, and regardless of where you sit with your views and affiliations, if you care about America, you likely have a variety of feelings and reactions to everything going on in our country right now. It’s a lot!
I think a good rule is that the topic is basically still off limits unless you are speaking to someone whose political views definitely align with your own. If you’re not 100 (OK, maybe 99) percent sure that someone agrees with you, don’t bring it up. This is especially true at work, when you are a guest in someone’s home, or anywhere else where a political disagreement would make things uncomfortable. There are plenty of other neutral topics available to you that it’s not worth wading into something that could lead to unpleasantness in a place where small talk is sufficient.
There are some circumstances in which you can try dropping hints to get other people to bring politics up first. Mentioning a podcast, TV channel, or website where you get your news can be a signal to other folks that you’re open to a conversation and what your views might be without having to say it outright. Keep your ears open for other people’s subtle clues and be ready to join in when it feels right. You can put a pin for a candidate on your bag or a bumper sticker on your car to announce your allegiances, knowing that detractors are at least as likely to notice as are fellow supporters, so you have to decide if you’re up for that. If you are, you don’t have to be as careful as I’m suggesting, and, if you’re actively looking to try to away people towards your candidate, that’s a different conversation altogether.
If you really want to scratch the political itch for yourself without crossing any social boundaries, I recommend that you seek out places where these conversations are going to be welcome: with like-minded friends, in groups of people working towards similar causes, volunteering with a candidate or, closer to November, to get out the vote. In the meantime, there’s no need to be neutral in your beliefs, but unless you’re in an expressly political setting or an obviously friendly one (or, I guess, if you’re looking to rile people up), I still suggest keeping political conversations to a minimum. November will be here before you know it, and hopefully you and I will both be happy with the outcome.
Be well,
Miriam
I would disagree somewhat. I recall a statement from Thomas Friedman some time ago in response to the plea that neither religion nor politics should be discussed in the classroom. He asked where else if not there? If we can’t at least talk civilly, there is little hope for reconciliation. The problem for me is that despite efforts, I haven’t come up with an effective way to do this. If we only talk to people with like views, we will never effectively learn the other side – nor how to talk with and even deal with opposing acts and view.