Valentine’s day is the most polarizing of the non-religious holidays. Some years it flies by and we can pretend we didn’t miss anything, but this year, V-day falls on Wednesday (aka: humpday), meaning the internet will for sure lose its digital mind and launch full-force into most of our lives.
One thing is for sure about V-Day, it is the one day where it seems everyone adopts a Minnesotan ‘tude. Yes, for one day that age-old MPA (Minnesotan Passive Aggression) hangs thick in the air as people wait for their unspoken romantic dreams to come true. I can’t take away the disappointment that will come when your lover doesn’t read your mind, but I can do the second-best thing. That’s right. I can help make your Valentine’s day Jewish.
There is a Jewish Valentines day, but honestly, I didn’t know about it until I started this article and on Hag HaAhava, CVS isn’t overloaded with heart-shaped everything. If you wish to celebrate Hag HaAhava, mark it down in your Google calendars for the 15th day of Av and feel free to re-read this article as these tips will totally still work.
1. Nosh: Nothing is more Jewish than eating. This year skip the chocolate strawberries and go for some apples and honey with your Honey. Better yet, skip sweets and just dig into a giant bowl of homemade hummus. Is it just us, or is throwing garlic and chickpeas into a food processor and watching it become creamy hummus kind of sexy?
Rating: BA for “Bubbe Approved”
2. Genesis 1:26: On the last day of creation God created our fine-a$$ selves. We were created in His image, right? So, take some time to appreciate each other’s godly features and compliment the heck out of each other. Kiss each other’s noses and run some fingers through those curly locks (but not too much because, POOF!). Spend an evening just existing as Jewish people together. Get to know your holy selves.
Rating: HB for “#Blessed”
3. Dreidel: Take that dreidel you only use once a year for like, maybe one whole game, and play romantic dreidel. Here are the rules:
Gimel = Gimme a back massage. Your partner gives you a back massage.
Hay = Hay remember that time…? Bring up an old memory you have from the good ol’ days!
Nun = Nun of your business! Tell your partner a secret; if you don’t have a secret tell, get wild, tell someone else’s secret!!!
Shin = Shimmy! Give your partner a dance! It doesn’t have to be sexy, you can lift them up in a chair and sing Hava Nagila for all I care.
Rating: G for “Gelt Free”
4. Argue: A biblical pastime for our people. Get loud with your bad selves and argue about something biblical. Was it Eve’s fault? Was it the snake? What’s up with that OG tattletale, Adam? Let your passion for Jewish history heat up your relationship.
Rating: חי for “ חי probability you end up on the couch”
5. Afikomen: You may not physically resemble matzah, but you are for sure a snack. This V-day embrace your inner afikomen and play a game of hide and seek. If your partner wants dessert, they are going to have to find you. The only rule is the person hiding must wrap themselves in a blanket and be as flat and stiff and cardboardy as possible, really try to BE matzah.
Rating: K for “Kosher”