I have a crush on a boy at my shul, but I don’t know what to do! He wears a gorgeous Gabrieli talit, does a mean hagbah and always sits by himself … I’d really like to get to know Cute Shul Boy better, but I don’t know how to go about it. It should be easy, right? Help me, Shuli!
Approaching a crush is always tough, and kal v’homer (even more so) in synagogue! Oy, there’s all that pressure – it seems like everyone’s watching you, and maybe they are. I’m sure you’re a cutie yourself, and thus you must have plenty of shul yentas trying to set you up with their sons, grandsons, etc. The last thing you want to do is make a move under the microscope.
So, I say, take your moves to the sidelines. That is, go up and say hi after services, preferably during Kiddush lunch or oneg, where you can offer him a drink or a sweet (yes, please, go ahead and make some sly remarks). Strike up a conversation a couple of weeks in a row, and see if there’s any chemistry there. If there is, invite him for Shabbat dinner or, if you’re feeling bold, a Thursday- or Saturday-night date.
I’m a firm believer that women should make the first move (and maybe the second) in terms of the invite. He may have no clue that you’re interested, especially if you’re shy … If you wait around for him to ask you, you could get nothing more than that nice view of his hagbah, if you know what I mean.
It’s Pesach, it’s spring – it’s a great time for a fresh start. Take a chance on Cute Shul Boy, and ask him out. And please … keep me posted!
Hag kasher v’sameach!
Ask Shuli: Synagogue Romance?