The Case Of The Unknown Wedding-Gift Sender

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Dear Miriam, 

I just received a gift for my upcoming wedding that doesn’t have a card or any name attached and is addressed only to me, not my fiance. What is the best and most polite way to track down who sent it? 


The box is blank 


Dear Blank,

I love that you get to do a little detective work here, which is just what you want leading up to your wedding, right? Your main tools here are going to be your registry, social media, and your family and friends. 

First, figure out if this item was on your registry. If your registry is through a store, their customer service may be able to help. If it’s an online registry that encompasses a lot of stores, they may still have customer service or the specific store may have a way of tracking the purchase. I recommend assigning these calls to a family member or member of your bridal party. This is extremely annoying and not a good use of anyone’s time, especially yours. 

That said, I also recommend asking your family, particularly your parents or members of their generation, to see if they recognize the gift. Maybe someone told your mom what they were getting for you. Maybe your dad is willing to call around and ask a few likely culprits if this gift came from them. The use of your name only suggests it may have been intended as a shower gift, which may reduce the number of possible people who may have sent it.

If none of this turns anything up, wait it out. At some point, you’re likely to get the question, “Did my gift arrive?” Hopefully, it will be in the form of a polite question and not an accusation about not getting a thank you card yet, but mysteries get solved in all kinds of ways. 

Now, for anyone reading this who’s going to a wedding, this summer, or ever: Don’t be this person! Use the registry. Send a gift receipt. Include your name. Address the package the way the couple has requested. These things aren’t hard to do, and if your goal is, as it should be, to celebrate people you care about, you can take that one small step further by following the steps that make receiving a gift actually a gift and not a burden. 

Mazel tov, and be well,