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Dear Miriam,
How can I fit making Shabbat, especially challah, into a full-time, work-in-an-office job?
Signed,
Out of Time
Dear Time,
You have many options for fitting Shabbat into your life, but all of them probably involve sacrificing something else. I don’t mean that to be discouraging, but rather, time itself is a finite resource, and you get to decide how you want to use it. Shabbat in many ways is about making the most of a very particular kind of time, and in order to experience that one special day, the hours surrounding it on either end likely have to be carefully constructed. Or, in other words, you can probably get what you want, and it will almost definitely take a lot of work.
If your concern is mainly logistical, you can set up your week to get you to Friday prepared for Shabbat. You can plan your menu and any guests by Tuesday, and arrange groceries to be delivered on Wednesday. You can stay up late Thursday night or wake up early Friday to cook. You can set aside one Sunday a month to make a month’s worth of challah and freeze it. All of these things take planning ahead and some minor inconvenience, it’s true, but it’s totally possible to make this work.
You can also let go of some things. You can buy challah instead of making it. You can get takeout for Friday night dinner and eat leftovers for Saturday lunch. You can ignore any standard that has to do with a particular kind of traditional homemade dinner, like you can plan a Friday night menu of all cold foods that can be prepared after candle lighting. You can set up a rotation with friends so each of you only has to worry about Friday night dinner every 3-4 weeks, or you can embrace “pajama Shabbat” so that dinner has no pretense at all and everyone can be at their most relaxed.
The other thing to consider is how the seasons impact your Shabbat practice and your ability to make Shabbat fit into your nine-to-five schedule. Maybe in the winter, when Shabbat is likely starting just as you get home from work, you always have store bought challah and take out. Then, in the summer, when you might have two to three hours after work before sundown, you can cook a more traditional meal. In the summer, you could even mix challah dough in the morning before work to rise in the fridge (this can take as little as 10 minutes!), and then bake it in those hours after work.
You may also benefit from a mindset shift about exactly what you mean when you think about “making Shabbat.” Are you prioritizing ritual observance over “vibes,” or family time over taking care of yourself? Is food the most important part, or are board games, or turning off your phone, or spending time with friends, or being out in nature? You can decide what makes Shabbat feel like Shabbat for you, and that might even look like letting go of your current conceptions of what you meant when you wrote this question.
You might decide that what marks Shabbat for you is lighting candles, or opening a nice bottle of wine, or wearing a special outfit, or reading the parashah with your kids, or enjoying a new book alone. You might decide that you need to try a lot of different styles to see what feels right, and revisit this question next month, or even next year. Once you have a better idea of what your priorities are, you will have an easier time fitting them into your life. And while Shabbat will always take some planning and preparation, when the work is geared towards the kind of rest you really want, the entire enterprise will be less challenging and more fulfilling.
Be well,
Miriam
