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Dear Miriam,
I’m transitioning my middle school kiddos into packing their own lunches this year. How can I best set us all up for success?
Signed,
Not the Lunch Lady
Dear Lunch,
This is a fantastic, age-appropriate step to be taking. There are many structures you can set up, which should vary depending on your kids’ executive functioning, punctuality, and food preferences. Think about how your kids approach homework or chores or eating in general to help determine what supports they’ll need for this task. Regardless of the specifics, don’t expect it to go smoothly all at once, and be prepared to tweak the process more than once during the school year.
Start by talking with your kids, separately if possible, so that you get true answers that aren’t influenced by each other, about what they want to eat in their lunches. Work with them to make shopping lists. If it works for your family’s style, take them shopping with you so they can see the process from start to finish. Make lists of what they’ll pack each day, either specifically (peanut butter and jelly, potato chips, an apple) or generally (main, side, healthy) and post these in a visible spot near where lunches will be packed.
Days in advance of school starting, go through the steps of actually making a sandwich, of making sure the Tupperware is properly closed, and of putting the supplies away afterwards. Ensure that ice packs, napkins, and utensils are fully stocked and accessible. Also go through the steps of unpacking the lunchboxes at the end of the day, though if you don’t, your kids will probably quickly notice the unpleasant side effects of not unpacking and will, hopefully, self correct.
After you have all this established, you can either see what happens for the first few days and step in as needed, or supervise/hover the first few days until you’re sure they’ve got the hang of it. I highly recommend mandating that lunches get made at night so that there’s less of a time crunch and more room for errors.
I also, perhaps contradictorily, suggest allowing your kids to gently fail at first. That is, if they don’t pack enough food or something gets mushy or spills, they’ll be ok. At the end of the day, there will be more food at home plus an opportunity to learn from their mistakes. Finally, while this certainly isn’t a requirement, consider helping out in a different way one day a week, the same day each week so it’s a routine. Maybe they eat school lunch if it’s available, or you prepare the “main dish” or they get to choose something pre-prepared to pack. Adults certainly know that small rewards and relief can make chores more bearable, and, along with the responsibility of food prep itself, learning how to make the tasks go well for yourself is an important part of the process.
Be well,
Miriam
