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Dear Miriam,
My kids are really enjoying counting the omer as part of their bedtime routine. So far, we’ve remembered every night, but I’m sure our days are numbered (omer pun!). When we inevitably forget: 1) Should I wake them up if I remember before I go to bed? And 2) Should I bend the rules so that we can pick up where we left off and keep counting?
Signed,
Committed to Counting
Dear Committed,
First things first: The omer is the seven weeks between Passover and Shavuot. There is a tradition to count every night, starting during the second seder, and to say a blessing before naming what day of the omer it is. The tradition also includes the fact that if you forget to count once, you can continue counting but only without saying the blessing. So that’s what we’re dealing with here.
But, importantly, if you forget at night but remember in the morning, you can count in the morning without a blessing and pick up where you left off that night. You’re not even bending the rules to do that! If you forget at night and also forget in the morning, as I said, you can keep counting but without saying the blessing. All that is to say, don’t wake your kids, but do set an alarm or leave yourself a note on your coffee mug or something else that will ensure you remember in the morning.
The argument for not saying a blessing if you forget is to avoid saying a wasted blessing or saying God’s name unnecessarily. You have to decide if that is a compelling reason to you, and also if it will be compelling enough for your kids so as to avoid a meltdown or other severe disappointment.
The omer we’re counting is a measurement of wheat. This is, on the surface, not a super-relatable ritual to most of us. I think what sways a lot of people to observe the ritual is the gameification of it. “Are you still in?” is a fun question to ask, and it’s even more fun to be able to answer yes. So while you can make a good argument for bending the rules to keep your kids engaged, I think you can make an even stronger argument for sticking to the rules. If they make it to the end, it’s a real accomplishment. If they don’t, they have something to look forward to next year and a goal to try to beat. Whether or not you think the omer itself is the point, making your kids excited about Judaism probably is, and it sounds like you’re doing a great job of that no matter how high they count.
Be well,
Miriam