I’m baseball mad. I watch it on TV. I follow it online. I read about it. I play fantasy baseball. I have Twins season tickets. But unfortunately, I am 35 and well past my baseball-playing prime. And that’s why there is softball! I get most of the same thrills – but in a much more leisurely package.
When I lived in New York, I organized and managed corporate teams for years. I played in corporate leagues and in charity tournaments. It was always quite a thrill to play ball in Central Park with the skyline beyond the trees. While there is no Central Park here in the Twin Cities, there are many more fields per capita and it doesn’t take an hour to get crosstown. League fees are much cheaper and the facilities are of top quality.
Now I work for a much smaller company and with people who aren’t as passionate about recreational softball as I am. Last year was a challenge getting people to commit to one hour each week. My motley crew lost every game and by the end of the season, I was almost reduced to standing on street corners begging for players.
Feel sorry for me yet?
In the 2+ years I have lived in the Twin Cities, I have heard about other softball leagues and softball teams. There’s an ad agency league. There’s a local news league. And then there’s the B’nai B’rith league. At the present time, I don’t work in advertising or local news, but I am still and always, a Jew. I’m a Jew who can hit to the opposite field and hit the cut-off man.
What’s the problem, you might ask?
I can’t get on the team! It’s more exclusive than the 700 home run club. Harder to get into than a Walmart on Black Friday.
I know at least two guys on the team (and the sister of another) and my efforts to join them on Sunday mornings have all failed. Is this some super team that needs no help from free agency? No way, Jose (Canseco). I’ve heard through the grapevine that the team in question needs some serious help on the diamond. So here I am, offering my services yet again.
How does a non-connected Jew who didn’t grow up here get on this exclusive B’nai B’rith team? Is there an initiation? Will bribes work? Do I need to go Tonya Harding on someone?
Spring is right around the corner and I’m itching to play some ball. You might even catch me using a shovel to work out the kinks in my swing.
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Jeff
Your plea has been heard. Making it on to this team might be the biggest sports let down you’ve had. The skills of each player have depreciated significantly. I will go the the board of the MPC Bnai Brith squad with a recommendation that you join the team. Be back to you soon.
Danny
Jeff:
Welcome to team MPC, we will be 14-15 strong with you but usually a couple guys don’t show up. Tell Dan F to send me your email.
Danny
This is the best thing I’ve ever heard. If I wasn’t already kvelling over how awesome it is that this blog can connect Jews in the community to each other, I would be now, anew. Jeff – you better shoot a video of yourself hitting balls, and send it on over.
Leave it to a Zouber to get the job done.