(This comment came in response to my latest column, “Parent Sex”🙂
Good points. I think one of the biggest problems is that many women – and it IS mostly women – feel the dishes and laundry need to be done prior to carnal fulfillment. This can’t be further from the truth. Keep up the good work!
— Married Sex
Dear Married Sex:
Thanks for your great comment! I’m going to infer a question from your note. It might be: Nu, how can we change women’s minds and free them to just enjoy themselves?
Well, encouragement is helpful. But am I alone in feeling that a partner who helps do the dishes and laundry, turns me on? That is, if a partner helps with chores around the house and encourages me to relax, I’m much more likely to join the party. Getting out of the house on an actual date or weekend away is a huge help too. That’s what’s so relaxing about (most) vacations: Those house chores aren’t there, staring us in the face.
So why DO we women feel that we have to get work and cleaning done before carnal fulfillment? Do we feel that everything has to be perfect, and that makes us perfect? Possibly. A slovenly home is never flirtatious, that’s certain. I say cut yourself some slack. No one ever died thinking, “Oy, I wish I had kept a cleaner home!”
Partners, spouses and husbands, take note: If you’re getting frustrated about your partner’s devotion to chores but not physical needs, talk about it. Encourage your loved one to put those chores aside, for a night, or a weekend away. You have to make it happen, and offer plenty of encouragement along the way. Unfortunately, it’s true – it is mostly women who seem to need permission to just enjoy themselves.
Nu? Have a question? Don’t be shy—ask Shuli. Write me at [email protected]