A few weeks ago while in Barnes & Noble, I found myself in the calendar section. I always get a kick out of the boxed desk calendars that seem to come in thousands of varieties. When I worked at a large corporation, I got the Dilbert one – you know, my little jab at the big man. Since I now live here, I tend to get something Jewish-themed.
I like having daily reminders that while I haven’t fully felt my toes since November, I am still a certified MOT. For 2010, I bought the Yiddish-of-the-day calendar. I debated getting that one again, but then I came across my favorite calendar of all time: Goyish vs. Jewish.
I realized though that it would be a much better investment for my office-mate – who genuinely appreciates my non-stop barrage of Jewishness. Every day is an adventure – with some being better than others. But as we enter the 3rd week of the year, one theme has dominated over the others: food.
Here are a couple to chew on:
Miracle Whip: Goyish
Mayo: Jewish
I can honestly say that while I saw Miracle Whip commercials throughout my childhood, I don’t ever believe I’ve tried it. Meanwhile, that large jar of Mayo was a constant on the fridge door.
Blueberry, Jalapeno, and Green Chili Bagels: Goyish
Onion, Poppy, and Sesame Bagels: Jewish
I just can’t fathom my dad ordering any of these new bagel varieties for himself.
So I started thinking of others – and who knows, they might even appear in the calendar at some point. Without further ado…
Ketchup on a hot dog: Goyish
Mustard on a hot dog: Jewish
Ham: Goyish
Bacon: Jewish
Buffet: Goyish
Smorgasbord: Jewish
White bread: Goyish
Rye bread: Jewish
White wine: Goyish
Red wine: Jewish
Lund’s: Goyish
Byerly’s: Jewish
Sweet Rolls: Goyish
Danish: Jewish
Who has some others? Let’s see what you got!
Menu
Corned beef – Jewish
Roast beef – Goyish
White milk with dinner – Goyish
Seltzer with dinner – Jewish
Hot dish/casseroles/anything made in a crock pot – Goyish
I can’t think of a Jewish equivalent to these…
One more:
Pate – Goyish
Chopped liver – Jewish
Ha! LOVED this!
Jenny–maybe the Jewish version of the hot dish is the kugel. You can throw a lot of random ingredients in those puppies.
I assume all good Jews have heard the Lenny Bruce bit on this topic. He invented the topic…never checked Youtube for it, but it is in all the good Lenny Bruce books.
My favorite: Italians – Jewish, Swedes – goyish
Thanks for posting, fun article.
In response to hotdish/casserole/crock pot as goyish, cholent – Jewish
Jenny –
How about Cholent – Jewish?
Kung Pao on any given Monday: Goyish
Kung Pao on Christmas Eve:Jewish
Hot Pockets: Goyish
Knish:Jewish
To flog semantics with the hot-dog thing:
Ballpark franks– Goyish
Hebrew National– Jewish
macaroni salad: Goyish
cole slaw: Jewish
bologna: Goyish
salami: Jewish
Milk chocolate – Goyish
Dark chocolate – Jewish
Lenny Bruce – Jewish
Ripping off Lenny Bruce – Goyish
My goyish mother gave me this calendar for Hanukkah. It cracks me up at least a few times a week!
Chris