As the lead organizer of every-other-year caregivers’ conference jointly conducted by Jewish Family and Children’s Service of Minneapolis and Jewish Family Service of St. Paul, Tabitha DeRango said that the conference theme is built around community need.
In the planning for the April 27 Keeping the Spirit Alive Conference, DeRango heard a common theme.
“The No. 1 need that we have seen in all the research is around grief,” she said. “We hear what the community is saying, and we also know that there are people who don’t quite understand that they have grief in their bodies. We hope through this experience that not only will they realize and acknowledge that, but they’re going to get tools to address this and get rid of some of the myths around grief.”
The keynote panel, “Grief In Every Chapter: The Stories That Shape Us,” is moderated by Rosie Gaston, a social worker who helps guide families through end-of-life care, and features presenters who work in the space.
“It’s such an important topic to talk about,” Gaston said. “It’s something that, as a society, we just brush underneath the rug, and all it does is further harm and stigmatize such a normal and natural experience.”
Gaston calls the panel she’s moderating a powerhouse group of people. On the panel is Nina Guertin, an end-of-life doula; therapist Brittany Squillace; Kelly Grosklags, a psychotherapist specializing in oncology and palliative care; and KARE-11 reporter Karla Hult, who is the host and producer of the podcast “Hello, Alzheimer’s.”
Later in the conference, Gaston will be part of a breakout session with Dr. Joseph Sicora on “Preparing for Ethical Challenges and Decisions at the End of Life.”
“I’m so respectful of varying beliefs on varying topics, but I’m all about informed consent,” Gaston said. “And we can only make the best decisions when we have all the information.”
DeRango said that grief and loss extends beyond loved ones dying.
“I think that throughout the pandemic, people experienced more significant loss and were more aware of it,” she said. “And not just loss in death, but loss in autonomy or ability to feel comfortable doing things, or the loss of moving ahead in the way that you thought you would like.
“The grief around that loss of what you thought your life might look like. These ambiguous losses, these anticipatory losses, are wrapped into grief.”
Gaston said that the one, inevitable truth we have in life is that we’re going to die.
“What I’ve seen time and time again is it takes bravery. It takes some courage. It takes being willing to say, ‘I want to step in a space of discomfort now for the long-term benefit that it’s going to have for when I get to my end of my life, or when somebody I love gets to the end of their life,’” Gaston said. “Grief is one of the most debilitating emotional experiences someone can go through. And grief is going to be there either way. But there’s things that we can do that can make it easier, not only on the individual themselves, but on the people that love them the most. But it does take some discomfort now, of sitting in that space, of reflecting on our mortality, in order for the end of life space to be better.”
The Keeping the Spirit Alive caregivers’ conference is 8:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Sunday, April 27, at Adath Jeshurun Congregation. For more information, check out the event brochure.
