A few weeks ago while in Barnes & Noble, I found myself in the calendar section. I always get a kick out of the boxed desk calendars that seem to come in thousands of varieties. When I worked at a large corporation, I got the Dilbert one – you know, my little jab at the big man. Since I now live here, I tend to get something Jewish-themed.
I like having daily reminders that while I haven’t fully felt my toes since November, I am still a certified MOT. For 2010, I bought the Yiddish-of-the-day calendar. I debated getting that one again, but then I came across my favorite calendar of all time: Goyish vs. Jewish.
I realized though that it would be a much better investment for my office-mate – who genuinely appreciates my non-stop barrage of Jewishness. Every day is an adventure – with some being better than others. But as we enter the 3rd week of the year, one theme has dominated over the others: food.
Here are a couple to chew on:
Miracle Whip: Goyish
I can honestly say that while I saw Miracle Whip commercials throughout my childhood, I don’t ever believe I’ve tried it. Meanwhile, that large jar of Mayo was a constant on the fridge door.
Blueberry, Jalapeno, and Green Chili Bagels: Goyish
Onion, Poppy, and Sesame Bagels: Jewish
I just can’t fathom my dad ordering any of these new bagel varieties for himself.
So I started thinking of others – and who knows, they might even appear in the calendar at some point. Without further ado…
Ketchup on a hot dog: Goyish
Mustard on a hot dog: Jewish
White bread: Goyish
Rye bread: Jewish
White wine: Goyish
Red wine: Jewish
Sweet Rolls: Goyish
Who has some others? Let’s see what you got!