At this dark, rather dreary time of year, my partner and I notice that our sex life really loses its spark. Do you think a vacation will help?
— Six-Year Itch
Dear Six-Year Itch:
A vacation always helps. Many people report that their love life perks up immeasurably when they get away, even if it’s just for a night or two. First of all, you’ve changed your surroundings—a hotel, resort or B&B is always sexier than home. Second, you’ve escaped work, chores, kids (if you have them) and everyday pressures. You can’t help but relax.
In this economy, you might not be able to afford an extended getaway—or really get away at all. As much as I hate that trendy term “staycation,” I’ve found that a local getaway at a hotel or spa can be a great spark for our love lives. Jewish people generally don’t celebrate Saint Valentine’s Day (although in America, who can avoid the frenzy of cards and jewelry??), but hotels and resorts usually offer great deals this month for lovers. Ask grandparents or friends to babysit if you must, and get out of the house!
Even if you reclaim that much-needed spark, you and your honey will have to address the root of the problem, however, when you return: Don’t let exhaustion win, or let your regular routine banish spontaneity. One of my readers made a great point in response to an earlier column about bedroom fatigue: Ladies, don’t put the dishes and laundry first. Carnal fulfillment should come first! If you must make a weekly (or thrice weekly!) appointment with your partner, set a time. The earlier in the evening the better, so no one loses steam.